Gender studies has taught me lots of things. One of the things I realized is how lucky I am to have grown up Episcopalian. Especially given who I've grown up to be. It still gets me everytime I realize I'm not a teenager anymore. No more wild teen years...not that I was really that wild as a teenager, but you know, there went my opportunity. Sometimes though, I wonder what all I missed out on back then, because of who I was and what I was dealing with and avoiding dealing with, and how I felt towards God. I was angry and pissed off at God for who I was, and then about the time I finally got over that, I got angry and pissed off at God for taking one of the most important people in my life. And now of course, I'm not angry at God for that anymore. Oh, I still wish it hadn't happened, but who am I to say it shouldn't have. And how did I keep my faith in God through all of that? Someone that I respect very much told me that you couldn't be angry at something you didn't believe in. She was right, of course. So somehow, through all of that, I still went to church almost every Sunday. Sure, I did spend most of that time in the nursery taking care of the babies, but I was there. And there were some Sundays no babies showed up, so I went to the service. And I did go to the Wednesday night service every week. And I made it through to where I am now. And yes, some days I still get a little upset at God, but it's okay because it doesn't change anything, and most days I love God. Well, I suppose all days I love God. Loving God doesn't mean I can't occasionally be upset at him(?).