I went clothes shopping today. For those of you lucky enough to have never gone through the ordeal of clothes shopping with me, I HATE clothes shopping, and the feeling generally appears to be mutual. But today actually turned out pretty well, I got a new pair of jeans (desperately needed) and a cute sweater dress that I'm sure I will have occasion to wear next winter, and was at a price that was more than worth it. So, in light of that success, I thought I would share my commentary of clothes shopping. When I'm shopping with somebody, that unfortunate person usually has to hear this out loud. When shopping by myself I usually refrain from saying it out loud.

Walk into Kohl's. Now, where are the jeans in this place. Oh good, there they are. What, my only choices are flare or skinny? What if I wanted boot cut. And they don't have the darker ones in flare? Cause there's no way I'm wearing skinny jeans. I can't imagine that they'd be comfortable. Oh well. Here we go. Which sizes should I start with? How about 5 average, 5 long, 7 short, and 7 average. That should be a good start. I need to find jeans that aren't dragging on the floor, cause then they get wet and salty and fray faster, and then they wear out sooner, and then I have to buy new ones sooner. Oh look, an empty dressing room. Wow, these jeans are a little tight (starting with 5 average) but maybe they'd stretch with wear. (crouch down on the floor, like I would at work) Oh, maybe not. There's no way these would be practical. Okay, maybe I'll try the 7 short next. Oh good, they fit right. And they're the right length. Except, that they aren't against my skin in the back. Will that be annoying? I'm not sure. (put the 5 averages back on) Oh, these do it to, I just didn't notice. I wonder if it's cause my bum's so big compared to the whoever these jeans are supposed to fit. Ugh, I hate the fashion industry. Oh well. (put the 7 shorts back on) Yeah, these will do. I wish I could find slightly darker ones, but whatever. I'll just get these. Are these jeans essentially trying to call me fat? Cause I'm not buying it. But apparently I should be taller to have hips this wide. That's kind of offensive. Why can't girl clothes come all with measurements like boy clothes, then it's a fact, and something subjective. It's a good thing I don't let society pressure me into having a negative body-image, though heavens knows my family has certainly tried hard enough. But I can't imagine life without clothes, and I'm not sure I could go through the ordeal of trying on boy jeans. Speaking of which, whey are cute jeans always in the junior section, and never in the women's section. Women wear jeans, and I'm sure they don't all want to look mildly frumpy. (Aside to women reading this who have found cute jeans in the women's section: Congratulations!) (looking through the clearance rack for a new sweater, cause I'm getting bored with my few nice looking, non-fleece ones) Ooh, this is a pretty dress, I wonder if it would fit. (try it on) Hmm, I wish this were a little longer and not so tight in the sleeves. But it's a small. A small. How small do you have to be for this fit comfortably, I mean really people. (finds medium and large) The medium works I guess, but it's still not quite long enough. It would look really cute with tights though, and that might make it okay. And for $6 I can't complain too much. Well, I could just not buy the dress. (try on the large) Wow, this fits right. It's doesn't appear too big, it's nice and comfortable, and loose, and almost as long as I would make it if I were making clothes, and the skirt is slightly fuller. I will definitely get this dress. But really, it's a large. I am not large. No wonder so many women and girls have body image issues. If this is what the fashion industry is proclaiming as large, there are major problems. We won't even get into how small you'd have to be to fit the small size. Oh well. Since the dress does fit, and it's only $6, and I'm sure I'll have an occasion to wear this next winter, if not in the next couple months, it'll be worth it. It would make a good choice for the bishop's consecration in November I think. Okay. I'm done with the fashion industry for today. I'm going to get out of here now, before this gets more infectious. Oh look, swim suits are out already. But what, I have to pick between being modest up top or down below? What kind of world is this. I want a nice, pretty, somewhat modest swimsuit that doesn't make me look like some kind of fundie. I think this is why I don't swim. And probably why I like skiing. Skiing requires wearing as many clothes as necessary, which is great. No too short shorts. No sagging armhole jerseys. Yea skiing. I should have gone skiing today. But it's so cold, and I had other errand to run...like here. At least I found jeans that fit. That's good. And a cute dress.

And that is how I go clothes shopping. This is actually a pretty good day. When I need new nice-ish looking shirts, it's a whole other rant though. But I will spare y'all that until I attempt to buy shirts again.