So while this weekend was definitely not the greatest of my life, it was in the top three. National Gathering, and last year's Prov VIII gathering take the top two places. But this weekend went much much better than I had thought it would in every way possible.

Socially, I made lots of new friends, and hung out with lots of amazing people, and went out drinking for the first time. Though to be fair, before someone calls me on it, I only drank about half of a vodka and cranberry before getting water. I also got to catch up with lots of old friends that I haven't seen in a while. Some since Gather, and some since last year. It was great to see them all again.

Spiritually, while this weekend didn't affect me at all in the way that last year's absolutely amazing Saturday evening service did (with major props to Canon Robin) for my soul, it did help me realize a number of things. One is that I am a lot more high church oriented than I thought I was. [Interjection: Power points and projectors are NOT, I repeat NOT, in my liturgical tradition] And I believe on the matter of "alternative liturgies" my friend Eric put it as I would have, had he not done it first:
"Rejecting the BCP, using barfy crayon-colored stoles and/or not vesting properly sends a message to young adults: "You are not the Church. You need special liturgies, and special vestments. You are outside the realm of Common Prayer. Go sit at the children's Table." And people wonder why we don't have more young adults?"

And for those people who have been somewhat keeping up with my side of how I feel about Caroline, I have much to say, but to keep it brief, she doesn't feel the same about me (which I kind of knew) and that I am not only okay with it, I actually am rather happy about it. And also, that after spending as much time with her as I did this weekend, I'm not so sure I actually feel that way about her anymore anyways. Spending time with her I got to know her better, and while as a result I am still convinced she is an amazing person, and someone I definitely want as a friend, I don't think she's what I'm looking for in a relationship. (fact that I'm actively staying single notwithstanding)

But how I felt about her definitely brought me back to reality in a sense, and that won't be forgotten, even with how I currently feel about her, and what I'm doing with my life, and what I have planned for my future. If only my future allowed for everything I want, not just those things I'm fairly certain I can't live without, while having to give up things I would rather not have to live without. Sometimes I get really really fed up with having to choose, and make these decisions. It will be interesting to see where this one leads me.

And while I'm tempted to say I feel as if I should seek advice from a priest, I already talked to one (not Robin) and she in what I have come to decide is just how priests are, just wished me good luck and prayers with my future.